Remembering Beth
by Christene Cullen
Summary: One shot based on the story of 'Little Women'. Told from Jo's pov, and her thoughts and feelings on Beth's death.


**Disclaimer:** None of these wonderfully creative characters belong to me. They all belong to Miss Louisa may Alcott.

**Author's note: **This is set at Cape Cod, but what time (As in, where it would be in or after the play/musical/movie/book), I don't know. It is a one shot, and in Jo's pov. It isn't based on any specific version of Little Women, but there is part of a song from the musical stuck in at the end. And... tahts it! please read and reveiw!

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The breeze was heavy with the tangy stench of salty waters not far below. Despite the crisp sandy beach under me, the raging navy waves crashing before me, and the cerulean skies above me, I was oblivious to the world. To me, it was all just a joke, a dream if you will. Why was this life worth living if you didn't have the one you loved with you at all times? Who would support you when you fell down; who would make you strong when you felt weak?

"She never abandoned me…" the rasping whisper easily rolled off of my dry lips. Pursing those same lips, I looked up into the moody skies. They did indeed look like rain: the sky was mirroring my anguished feelings.

"Jo?" The voice was soft, hardly more than a whisper; it reminded me of Beth. With twisted hopes of turning to find the fragile angel I had just lost, I quickly kneeled on my rough, unlady-like knees and spun around. The wind whipped at my face, the salt still tingling my nostrils. But that was not my dearest Beth. No, she had a face sweeter than the moon; this woman's face was lighter, softened with years of age.  
"Marmee…" was my startled whisper. She could sense the disappointment that edged my every movement, from speech, to a simple blink of the eye.

"My dear, we must be off. The train leaves in only a few hours." Marmee's usually soft and kind voice held its own edge of maternal concern. Maybe that was because I had hardly touched my food these past few days, or my lack of sleep. I spent most of my hours wandering aimlessly along this very beach, the one where I had last held my dearest Beth's hand.

At the mere thought of her, hot tears pressed against my eyes, but I wouldn't cry. Instead, I blinked back the tears and sniffled softly, hoping Marmee couldn't hear it over the washing sound of the waves. Unfortunately, the whimper had been picked up by her maternally enhanced ears.

"We can't undo what has been done," Marmee told me softly as she walked the last few feet between us. "We can't bring her back, no matter how hard we wish; it isn't possible. And besides, is this what Beth would want? She would want you to continue writing, to remember the joy instead of the sorrow."

"Why did she have to… die?" I could hardly whisper the dreadful word. It felt like poison twinning through my speech. I took a deep, grating breath, then let it out in a heaved sigh. I must have seemed like a young child, sitting there and swimming in my puddle of selfish guilt. But Beth had been the one thing I always treasured closest to my heart, and now, she was snatched right away from me. None of them had any idea how I felt, no matter how much they said that they did. None of them had any idea how hard on me it was.

Saying good bye to Beth was so different than saying good-bye to an aunt or a grandparent. Beth was a sister, closer than a friend, sometimes closer than a mother. And the worst part was that she hadn't been with me for more than 13 years. It was all so horrible. Why would some one want to take away some one as meek and gentle at such an early time in their lives? It just didn't seem right to me.

"Jo, my dear, we must be off. There is not enough time for a lesson on life and death," Marmee's words were gentle, but still held that tone of command only mothers possessed. I just nodded; I had forgotten Marmee was there. I still didn't rise from the sandy ground beneath me, though.

"Jo," This time her voice was sterner, possessing more power.

"Yes, yes…" I sighed as I stood and shook out the blue and white striped skirt of my dress. Grains of sand poured from the folds, and for a minute, I only focused on them. My eyes blurred and my senses seemed to dull as I just stood there, staring and thinking.

"Jo?" Marmee wasn't very happy with me delaying our departure.

"Yes, we should be off…" I responded in a dull, almost bored voice. I didn't want to go back home, there would be too much there to remind me of Beth.

With slow, reassuring steps, I started off towards the small cottage belonging to a friend of Marmee's and father's we had stayed in. Our trunks were all stacked and ready to go outside, but something was missing; Beth. But her trunk was still there, neatly tucked on top of ours. With a small sigh, I reached for the nearest trunk, but another hand beat me to it. It was the carriage driver, whose carriage awaited us further down the lane.

With a slight smile, I allowed him to pick it up. "Thank you," Was all I could manage to whisper through my constricted throat. He just tipped his hat, and I grabbed a smaller, lighter trunk. Seeing as it was a lot less heavy than my earlier target, I easily carried it over to the carriage, where I deposited it on the emerald grass-covered ground for the driver to attach onto the carriage.

"Come, my dear. It is time to head back home." It was Marmee, who was following me with another smaller trunk.

"Yes, of course. Just one more minute, Marmee…" I pleaded quietly. With small, quick steps, I headed back around the smaller cottage. There, a small cliff jutted over the beach, but it was not sandy and yellow. Instead, it was crisp brown, and instead of the smooth grains, the ground was coated with large boulders. The foaming waves easily slapped at the rocks and sprayed me with a cooling sea spray, even though I was about ten feet above the waves. This had been my first view of the cape's lovely beach when Beth had been with me.

For once, I allowed my emotions to overcome me. Taking a deep breath, the hot tears streamed down my cheeks and staining my dirty hands, which now hid my face from any on-lookers. The days of shoving my emotions to the back of my cluttered mind had finally caught up, and were now pouring out in the crystalline tears welling in my eyes and streaming down my face. All I wanted was Beth.

"Some things are meant to be, the tide turning endlessly,  
the way it takes hold of me, no matter what I do,  
and some things will never die, the promise of who you are,  
the memories when I am far from you.  
All my life, I've lived for loving you; I've let you go now…"


End file.
